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Stop Spinning, Start Breathing: A Codependency Workbook for Narcissist Abuse Recovery, by Zari L Ballard
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Killing Our Codependency to Narcissistic Abusers
Do you feel "love addicted" to a narcissistic abuser?
Are you separated but still struggling with the mental connection?
Do you feel that family and friends don't "get" what you're going through?
Despite all that you know, do you still wonder if things could be different?
Has the onset of relationship amnesia kept you tethered to only good memories?
Are you often jolted by separation anxiety and sudden impulses to break no-contact?
Does the road to recovery seem far too long to have to go it alone?
If you're reading this, it's likely you've come to the end of the line with a narcissistic abuser. You've had enough of the silent treatments and the covert manipulation and you just want out. Maybe you've even managed to survive the physical break-up but now struggle with the ongoing mental connection. Perhaps you feel that you've somehow become addicted to the very drama that you hate! Well, I'm here to tell you that you're not alone and there is a way out. This workbook contains information that will fix you. I know this because I wrote it and I'm just like you. In fact, our lives are interchangeable. My name is Zari and I'm a survivor of narcissist abuse. I know what you feel and I know what you're thinking. I do, in fact, "get it" and only someone who "gets it" can even begin to understand what you're going through.
Like my first book, When Love Is a Lie, this companion workbook approaches relationship recovery as a team effort. Using this book and support via my blog, you will distance yourself from the spinning mindset that prevents a narcissist's victim from ever getting to a place where feeling better - let alone feeling normal - seems even remotely possible. A person who has never experienced this type of relationship will simply never understand...but I do and so do you.
In this workbook, I will
- ..share personal experiences with silent treatments, triangulation, and more that will resonate with your own - and I mince no words
- ..guide you step by step through the same post-breakup process that helped me "get it right" in my own head
- ..ask you pertinent, thought-provoking questions so that each answer you provide will play a role in your recovery
- ..provide plenty of white space where you can journal both the pain of your past and the hope for your future until it all comes into perspective
- ..promise you mental closure, relationship reconciliation, and acceptance that yes, it's time to move on...and you're strong enough to do it
Download this book to get started today!
For more articles and information about narcissism in relationships and to ask questions/receive advice in a forum-style setting, visit my blog: thenarcissisticpersonality.com
With love,
Zari
- Sales Rank: #25378 in Books
- Published on: 2014-01-18
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .43" w x 6.00" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 190 pages
From the Author
Visit Zari's Blog: thenarcissisticpersonality.com
"For me personally, during those times when I really needed comfort and relief, clinical mumbo jumbo about narcissism did nothing for me. Even now, I'm confident that it only takes one book out there explaining why these types of disordered personalities can never be fixed for us to "get" that part of the situation. But then what?" Stop Spinning, Start Breathing
Your relationship with a narcissist, sociopath, or other toxic person does not have to technically be over in order for you to get better and move forward. In fact, particularly in these types of dysfunctional situations, there's no time like now to begin putting the relationship in its proper light...to start seeing the narcissist exposed in all his emptiness...to start managing your memories according to reality and not fantasy. Treat your recovery like any other recovery and commit to getting better - whether you're still involved with this person or not.
Although I am not a doctor, teacher, or anyone formally educated on the topic of narcissism, I would confidently discuss/debate my knowledge with those who are. I just know what I know from first-hand experience and careful observation. You can find your way to narcissist abuse recovery (and this includes recovery from sociopaths and psychopaths as well) and you can get on the road to feeling normal in a reasonable amount of time. In my opinion, recovery from this type of emotional abuse begins with facing the facts of your relationship head-on. So fear not and let's go forward - I'm with you all the way!
About the Author
Zari is a Freelance Writer/Author (and single mom) who resides with her son in Tucson, AZ at the base of the beautiful Catalina Mountains. Born and raised in Rhode Island, Zari, then an aspiring journalist, graduated from Rhode Island College with a B A in Mass Media Communications/English and headed off from the ocean state for a life in the Southwest.
In 2005, when her son's diagnosis with child-onset schizophrenia changed everything, Zari set aside the executive rat race in lieu of a home-based career as a Freelance Writer. A leap of faith that could have gone either way, the choice to work from home was meant-to-be and she has never looked back.
Motivated by the success of When Love Is a Lie & Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, Zari has since published two additional books about narcissism in relationships - Narcissist Free: A Survival Guide for the No-Contact Break-Up and When Evil Is a Pretty Face, a book written for male victims of female narcissists. Zari is also writing a memoir about her son's life and recording a podcast series based on her books about narcissism.
For informative articles on narcissism and the opportunity to communicate with Zari in forum-style conversations, please visit Zari's blog TheNarcissisticPersonality.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
74 of 77 people found the following review helpful.
Plain and Simple Truth
By Kindle Customer
I have read every book I could get my hands on about this awful life . The pain and depression that happens after being thrown away by a disordered person is like no other. This book helped me focus on me and my healing. I was one that thought I would love him enough to make him stay. Through this book I learned to love me enough to let him go.
38 of 40 people found the following review helpful.
Work Reading for Recovery Advice
By Joseph Myers
Although the author is not a professionally trained therapist, her observations about the behavior of narcissists and their victims are well worth reading, especially the sections on how to recover from codependency. She writes from her own experiences, and her advice and comments are very insightful. The advice on recovering from codependency is worth more than the price of the book. I have not found many other books on the relationships between pathological narcissists/social paths /psychopaths that offer solid and practical advice on how. codependent can recover from and stay away from such relationships in the future.
38 of 44 people found the following review helpful.
Great follow up to "When Love is a Lie"
By Samantha Davis
Zari and I met on an author's forum a few months ago, and she asked me to read and review this book. I gladly accepted, since I thoroughly enjoyed "When Love is a Lie."
This book is straightforward and exactly what it sounds like. It is a workbook for people who have encountered narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths and have, for some strange reason, fallen in love. I wish that I had found this book or something like it when I, myself, was beginning to recover from a narcissistic ex.
They charm and dazzle you into loving them, then feed off of your emotions like a vampire feeds from blood. The point Zari makes though, about "codependency to hope," is what makes this book an absolute must if you're looking for a way to heal. She shows that we are not madly in love with our exes (or our current narcissist partners), but instead, we are in love with the idea of hope. HOPE that they will change. HOPE that we can change them.
Zari uses journaling as a way for you to learn to cope with your history. She tells you that it's okay to want revenge; it's okay to remember the good times. But it's essential to remember the bad times, too. She gives you checklists and prompt questions backed by her own experiences AND her very own journal entries as examples. This is a wonderful book. I have to admit that I didn't do the writing, but I definitely considered each of her prompts and outlined a response in my head. Even now, 2 years out from my own narcissist, I appreciate the value of this book.
Again, this book is targeted to people recovering from narcissistic partners. It may be too narrow for those just interested in the topic; I would recommend her other book, When Love Is A Lie, if you're more interested in the narcissist/sociopath/psychopath persona and associated destructive relationships.
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